LAMBS, HENS AND HAPPINESS

Dear Amelia,
As you grow older you’ll discover there are some things that are just meant to go together.
Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is one.
Hens’ nights and hangovers is another.
Nanna went to your Mum’s hens’ night last night.
Now I’m back in Albany sitting in front of my computer, wondering if Panadol would work more quickly if I pulled apart the capsules and rubbed the powder into my eyeballs.
Two of many lasting memories:
1. Being photographed with a cardboard penis stuck to my forehead.
2. Standing in a circle with the bride-to-be and the five bridesmaids singing Powderfinger’s “My Happiness”.
We were loud enough to raise the dead.
“…YOU’RE OVER THERE WHEN I NEED YOU HEE-EERE…”
“My Happiness” is a special song for me and your Mum because it came out just before your Mum did her big overseas trip.
She was away for ages and I missed her like crazy.
I managed to get all the way through it without sobbing, which is no mean feat when you’re tired and emotional.
It turned out that by the end of the night I was tired and emotional to the tune of one-and-three-quarter bottles of champagne, which isn’t a record, but it’s close.
You’ll be pleased to know that your Aunty Justine was eventually found safe and sound this morning, and that as far as I know, your mother didn’t vomit on her new shoes.
Luckily I didn’t have to drive home today because I was in no condition to cope with the steady procession of dickwits who think tailgating at 110kmh on Albany Highway is a good idea.
Here’s a tip from Nanna: avoid anyone who owns an iridescent lime green car.
Iridescent lime green car = bogan with death wish.

Luckily, your Grandpa came with me to Perth and he did all the driving.
From what little I saw of the countryside on the way back, it was very lush and pretty from the recent rains.
Not much roadkill (two kangaroos and two foxes) and lots of little lambs gambolling in paddocks.
I nodded off wondering where sheep sleep and if the little lambs get cold at night (and why I care, considering I have no qualms about eating them).
I was woken just out of Mt Barker by your Grandpa shouting “IT’S TENACITY FOR GOD’S SAKE!” at the radio.
One of the footy commentators for the Geelong/Port Adelaide game had said “tenaciousness” and nearly caused him to hit a tree.
I’m not going to give you a recipe today because I’m feeling too delicate to keep typing.
Once the Panadol kicks in, I’ll be cooking a nice comforting roast for dinner.
I just hope it’s not related to anything I spotted gambolling in a paddock this morning.


PS: If you’d like to listen to “My Happiness”, check out YouTube here.

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2 Comments on “LAMBS, HENS AND HAPPINESS”

  1. Liz Morrison. says:

    Yes that’s all very well, mother of the bride.,but did you get your cardigan and your shoes? Maybe the champagne arrived too early and all shopping was forgotten. Michele have you read or listened to 50 shades of Grey? You really must, it is appalling. I would love you to review it for Amelia. I listened to it on audible.co.uk and I swear Paris Hilton was reading it. Traveling on a plane listening to said “novel” and eating a Banana is vaguely embarrassing. Good luck with the Nuptials and don’t forget the tissues.

    • Michele says:

      No, I didn’t get her cardigan and shoes because, yes, the champagne arrived early, plus we drove to Perth on Saturday morning and home again yesterday. I’m trying to generate the required amount of…I don’t know which word to use here…interest? desperation? eagerness? inner zen? to read 50 Shades of Grey because I’ve yet to hear it described as anything but crap. That said, there’s good crap and bad crap isn’t there? Maybe after the wedding. Without a banana.


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